How to Cope with Being Adopted

Thứ bảy - 27/04/2024 01:08
For many adoptees, coming to terms with being adopted is a challenging process. Confusion, grief, and self-doubt are completely normal, so don't feel ashamed if you feel these or any other powerful emotions. Give yourself permission to...
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For many adoptees, coming to terms with being adopted is a challenging process. Confusion, grief, and self-doubt are completely normal, so don’t feel ashamed if you feel these or any other powerful emotions. Give yourself permission to experience these feelings, and share them with trusted friends. You might also find it helpful to read about other adoptees’ experiences, talk to a counselor, or join a local adoption support group.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Finding out that You’re Adopted

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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Coping with Grief and Loss

Not all adoptees feel sad, but some do. If you do, here's what you can do to process.

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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Defining Your Identity

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    Ask your therapist to help you get in touch with body emotions. Remembering the time before you were separated from your heritage will help you come to terms with the loss you faced and is key to identifying your personality.
    • The type of adoption agreement between your biological and adopters will impact how much information may be available. Closed adoptions, for example, may provide less information regarding your biological parents.
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    Remind yourself of the people, qualities, and beliefs that help shape who you are. Try making a mental or written list of your core values, such as honesty and generosity. List your talents and interests, such as telling jokes, running track, or playing the piano.
    • It might be helpful to think about how grateful you are for your adopted family and how they've helped you become who you are. Keep in mind many adoptees feel obligated to express gratitude and are expected to have it automatically. This can be tough if they haven't been given room to grieve. Framing the concept as appreciation can help with this hurdle. Strike a balance between being grateful and allowing yourself to experience conflicted emotions.[12]
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    Look into finding your birth parents, if desired. The process of tracking down a biological parent depends on where the adoption took place and whether it was open or closed. For an open adoptions, you can access identifying information, such as the names of your biological parents. If this information isn't available, look online for government and private registry services that connect biological relatives, such as https://www.isrr.org.[16]
    • Searching for and communicating with a biological parent is a complex, emotional endeavor. It's best to talk to a counselor before and during the process.
    • Ask your adopted parents if your adoption was open, closed, or mediated. In an open adoption, there are open lines of communication between the adopted and biological families.
    • In a mediated, or semi-open adoption, families exchange information through a caseworker or lawyer, but maintain their privacy.
    • In a closed adoption, there is no contact between the families, and neither can access identifying information about the other.
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Help Communication About Adoption

Ways to Approach Adoptive Parents about Being Adopted
Conversation with Adoptive Parents about Adoption
Letter to Biological Parents

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