How to Face Reality

Thứ bảy - 27/04/2024 01:14
Everyone tries to ignore reality at one point or another. Sometimes it's easier to not acknowledge something that's upsetting or unpleasant, or maybe you just don't feel ready. However, facing reality really is the best way to make peace...
Table of contents

Everyone tries to ignore reality at one point or another. Sometimes it’s easier to not acknowledge something that’s upsetting or unpleasant, or maybe you just don’t feel ready. However, facing reality really is the best way to make peace with your current circumstances so you can work on having a better future, and it doesn’t have to be scary! This article will show you how to accept your current situation, cope with your feelings in a healthy and compassionate way, and take steps to create a life that you’re happy with.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Accepting Your Present Situation

  1. Step 1 Identify denial.
    Accepting your situation doesn’t mean you have to like it or that you support the conditions that lead you there. Refusing to accept your current life, though, can have major consequences on your mental and physical health, leading to anxiety, chronic physical pain, or bodily harm caused by escapist behaviors like eating unhealthy foods or drinking too much alcohol. If you are in a situation that affects your well-being, then you might be using denial to cope with your feelings.[1]
    • You may need to seek professional help for certain types of denial, such as if you are in an abusive relationship or if you are addicted to drugs or alcohol. Try talking to a trustworthy friend to start moving towards acceptance and then find some tailored help for your situation.
    • For example, if you have been denying that you have a problem controlling your drinking, but you drink on a daily basis and can’t stop once you start, then you may need to admit you have a problem and enter a treatment program. If you have been denying that there is anything wrong with your relationship even though you have a verbally abusive partner, then you might need to ask your partner to visit a couples’ counselor with you.
  2. Step 3 Identify your part in creating your situation.
    To fully accept some situations, it is important to acknowledge the role that you played in causing the problem. Ask yourself questions related to your particular situation to help you work towards solutions.[3]
    • If you are overweight and wish you weighed less, think about the reasons you are overweight. Do you eat a healthy diet of natural vegetables, fruits, legumes, and grains? Do you exercise regularly? If not, is there a valid medical reason why you cannot exercise in certain ways, and are there other types you could do instead?
    • If you are unhappy with a relationship, consider why you continue to stay with this person. Are you afraid that you might end up alone? Do you worry that separating or divorcing will lead to financial problems?
    • If you hate your job, ask yourself why you continue to work there. Do you need more education or training to do what you really want to do? And if so, why haven’t you gotten it yet? Are there other jobs you could be applying for? Are you staying because it is convenient, even if unhealthy for your well-being?
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Working Through Your Feelings

  1. Step 2 Practice mindfulness...
    Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness can help to reduce the amount of time that you spend ruminating. That means that it can prevent you from dwelling so much on the negative aspects of your situation. Among other benefits, practicing mindfulness is also a powerful way to relieve stress and it can improve your ability to focus.[7]
    • You can practice mindfulness as you do daily activities, such as brushing your teeth or washing the dishes. For example, as you brush your teeth, focus on the sound of the toothbrush, the feeling of the bristles, and the taste of the peppermint toothpaste.
    • When you are doing dishes, think about the temperature of the water, the sounds you hear, the smell of the dish soap, and how you move your hands as you wash. Be present in the experience of doing the dishes instead of thinking about all the other things you need to do.
    • If you start to feel overwhelmed, take several slow, deep breaths to bring yourself back into your body and the present moment.[8]
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Creating a Better Future

  1. Step 2 Decide what you...
    Decide what you want for yourself in the future. Since you have been able to fully assess and accept your current situation and what you don’t like about it, as well as how your actions contributed to creating it, you can now decide how you want your life to be different in the future. Think of a general goal and then come up with a definite smaller goal that will help you get there.
    • Do you want to find a new job, lose a healthy amount of weight, learn to better handle your finances, or develop stronger and healthier relationship skills?
    • If you want a new job, do you need more training or education? Do you need to start practicing for interviews and hiring a resume consultant? Will you start spending an hour every morning looking through want-ads?
    • If your goal is to lose weight, for example, focus on specific goals you can obtain in the near future, such as “I will walk for 30 minutes every day this week.”[12]
    • Try writing down your goals in a to-do list. That can help make your plan more concrete, and it may be easier to take action.[13]
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